The Godzilla Guide to Berlin
Godzilla has made it as far as the Netherlands, but the monster hasn't stomped all the way to Berlin yet, probably because the sushi here's not so great. When he does show up, I reckon he'll probably take out the TV Tower first, if he can shake King Kong off the observation deck. If you want to make your own monster movie during your stay in Berlin, here's an eccentric selection of miniature and virtual cityscapes you can use as a backdrop. Pack your own giant lizard costume and polish your dorsal plates.
Bastelbogen Paper Models - Are you crafty? Do you have ready access to lots of solvents and sharp pairs of scissors? Do your parents let you play with those sorts of things? They do? Good. Now you can build your own Berlin with these handy pre-printed paper kits. Try the Mietskaserne based on a real building in Wedding, a doll's house version of a 1900 altbau apartment, or, for the more ambitious, the Reichstag. Once done, you can construct s- and u-bahn trains and an authentic Berlin tram or two to push round the "streets" while making brum-brum noises.
Berlin Monopoly - The first German edition of Monopoly had Berlin streets but apparently fell foul of the Nazis (like so many things) when they decided it wasn't a good tool for educating righteous Aryan youths. After that, German editions featured street names from cities across the country, all jumbled up, and it wasn't until the last decade or so that it was possible to buy a proper Berlin-based board. This new edition is a funny mix of streets, tourist sites, and hotels: The Adlon is dark blue, you can buy the whole of Prenzlauer Berg for a pittance, and Konnopkes Imbiss (a shack under the u-bahn line in real life) is apparently something you can build hotels on.
Chocolate Reichstag - I couldn't miss this chocolatier on Gendarmenmarkt, whose shop display includes a large chocolate sculpture of the Reichstag that glistens under the lights but never melts. I don't know what they blended into that chocolate that's made it last for years (corn syrup? glue? wallpaper paste?), but I don't recommend trying to break a bit off for a nibble. Better to pop upstairs to the newly opened chocolate restaurant (the only one in Europe, they claim) or the café, where you can tuck into a tartlet that bears a passable resemblance to Norman Foster's Reichstag dome.
eBoy - Berlin-based pixel artistes eBoy produce cool, highly detailed cityscapes that are one part Where's Waldo and one part late-eighties video games. The 33 x 44-inch Berlin poster won't win any prizes for geographical accuracy, given that the Brandenburg Gate is on top of the World Clock in Alexanderplatz (near Godzilla) and there are picnickers on top of the Fernsehturm. Look out for the sinister green police tanks, the police hold-up in a cafe and a chunk of Wall that still has barbed wire on top. There may or may not be a wee bit of a subtext going on.
Google Earth - Berlin spent three years developing this 3D model of Berlin on Google Earth to "demonstrate the innovativeness and technical capabilities of Berlin as a business location in an attractive manner." It's great fun too, even for nonbusiness folk. Check out this video from the Google Earth blog, in which a magical flying nerd steers us around the hauptstadt and tries to assure us it's just like actually being there, even though there are only three people in the entire virtual city and they're all trying to get on a train out of the place.
Hypermedia Berlin - If Google Earth's blocky visuals aren't your scene, try this UCLA site that lets you explore maps dating from 1237 to 2003. History buffs will enjoy the urban development maps -- click on the 1945 city plan. Everything that's colored blue is either destroyed or damaged by bombing and fires, i.e., pretty much the heart of the city. The "People" option turns out to be an excellent baby Wiki of famous Berliners. Highly recommended.
Märkisches Museum - Staffed by ever-vigilant pensioners who will pursue you from room to room and make you feel like a potential suicide bomber, this old-fashioned museum is dedicated to the history of Berlin and Brandenburg. There are models aplenty here, from one depicting the scene in 4,000 BC (three straw huts by the river) to a 1:450 scale portrait of Berlin-Cölln in 1450 with pentagonal arsenals, and architectural maquettes of the great 20th-century housing projects. The pièce de résistance is a room-size rendering in carved wood of Berlin in 1750. I got a guided tour by the attendant pensioner, who used a piece of folded newspaper to show me the sights: "Unter den Linden. Hier. Schloss. Hier. Friedrichstrasse. Hier." And then, "Dies, weg! Dies, weg!" when we got to the landmarks that didn't make it to 1945. Hint: Godzilla was not responsible.
Model Park Berlin - Wander round Berlin's landmarks at 1:25 scale, using giant strides to take you from Libeskind's Jewish Museum to the Schloss Pfaueninsel in Wannsee in a matter of seconds. This is sort of like crazy golf without the golf, and the park has everything from plattenbau to the Hi-Flyer balloon ride near Checkpoint Charlie. Opportunities for posing as Godzilla for tourist photos: high.
