More of the Best Handjobs in New York
You shell out $100 for a massage, and they don't even pleasure your most sensitive parts? It's a crime, but a preventable one. New York has swarms of semi-illicit massage parlors that offer happy endings along with that backrub you so desperately need. We've already posted an authoritative roundup of the city's best handjobs, but several tipsters have written in to tell us that a few of our original picks have since closed. So, I scoured the net to get a fresh batch of joyful-conclusion massage parlors for your pleasure and perusal. Most of these spots stink of human trafficking and bacterial infections, but fappers can't be choosers.
NJoy
36 W 33rd St
New York, NY 10001
NJoy was on our first list of handjob spots, but they deserve a second mention because they have the most forthright and funny website in the entire hand-sex industry. To … quote the site, NJoy offers: "Sensuous Asian Beauties providing choice of FULL SERVICE OR HAPPY ENDING BODYRUB." [link]
Oriental Body Work
104 Sullivan St
New York, NY 10012
This Soho massage parlor offers a standard happy ending experience. The massages are said to be somewhat therapeutic; it's $50 per hour, but there's a $45 special if you … show up on a Sunday. The woman in the ad probably looks nothing like the real masseuses, since none of the reviews of this place mention the attractiveness factor. [link]
Madison Holistic
Financial District, New York, NY, USA
This upscale, new age-y operation has locations in Midtown and the Financial District. They have a diverse staff that includes a male masseur. … Vivienne and Carina both look pretty hot to me. Massages here start out at $200, but even though the entire staff claim to be experts, Madison Holistic left some online reviewers wondering if it's worth the high price. [link]
Kawaii Asian Bodywork
5th Ave & 31st St
New York, NY
Kawaii is the Japanese word for "cute," which is an appropriate name for this apartment massage parlor operation -- the woman who works here is apparently both cute and … Japanese. She's also said to be very skilled with her hands. Best of all, you can totally rub her boobs while she works you over. Score! A massage is $55 plus a tip for each hour. There's some kind of fancy steamed towel machine, so you can at least pretend to feel clean about the whole process. [link]
Gold Spa
128 W 36th St
New York, NY 10018
Gold spa is renowned for attentive table showers and cute masseuses. Judy comes highly recommended. An hour-long "treatment" costs $70. [link]
Choi's Barbershop
48 W 37th St
New York, NY 10018
At Choi's you can get a haircut with your handjob for $12. A "massage" is $40 for a half hour. "Sorry I'm late honey, I stopped off to get a haircut after work." The ladies here are reputedly average masseuses who aren't that good looking, except for Jeannie and CiCi, who are fan favorites. The haircuts are actually supposed to be pretty … decent too. [link]
