Breakfasting in LA with Your One-Night Stand
Congratulations! You finally hooked up, thus ending one of the longest dry spells in Los Angeles history. Admittedly, it wasn't quite how you'd planned it -- a heavily negotiated 3 a.m. tryst en route from the Smog Cutter -- but so what? At this point, you're thrilled to get someone of the same species. But the news isn't all good; instead of bolting at the first possible opportunity, your "date" appears to have stuck around and is snoring somewhere in the vicinity of your bed. The question is: Is he or she or it a keeper? Figuring that part out is easy; it's what comes next that's tricky. Here are some breakfast choices that will either assist you in eliminating the "mistakes" or keeping the more promising guests hanging around for more.
Westside Pavilion Food Court
10800 W Pico Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90064
With any luck, just suggesting breakfast at the Food Court should send an unwanted one-night standee running for the door, but it's possible s/he will just think you're … kidding and not take the hint. Disabuse them of this hope by marching up the escalator straight to Panda Express, "because it's the cheapest" and then, after announcing all the ingredients you're allergic to, place some nitpicking order, making sure to dispute the $6.33 bill when it's time to pay. If your date still hasn't fled, ask to borrow some money; if they're still around at that point, it's clearly your turn to run for the exit. [link]
Souplantation
11911 San Vicente Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90049
If you can't unload your one-night stand after eating at this God-forsaken hell hole, you might consider volunteering for Iraq; clearly it's the only way you're going to … be rid of them. Aiding your cause will be legions of screaming, food-throwing six-year-olds, their zoned-out, bickering parents, tables spaced one inch away from each other, and nasty florescent lighting. [link]
Pacific Dining Car
1310 W 6th St
Los Angeles, CA 90017
The morning after a good downtown hookup is fraught with peril, as your breakfast choices seem to be limited to the Beef Bowl and random taco trucks. Escape these grim … options by driving a few miles to the wonderfully retro Pacific Dining Car, which is helpfully open 24/7, sparing you an embarrassing drive from one closed restaurant to another. The old Hollywood décor and amazing linen collection (there are mountains of towels in the bathrooms) will provide the needed charm to keep your "date" from suddenly remembering an errand they needed to run. [link]
Cafe Med
8615 W Sunset Blvd
West Hollywood, CA 90069
Apart from a few unsightly tourists, most Sunset Plaza cafes are full of boozing, pretty, Euro-ish customers, which makes them the perfect places to drag out a promising … one-night stand. Café Med is one of the better choices, as the crowd tends to hang around for hours, gossiping and smoking up a storm, thus creating no pressure to leave. The huge but hidden parking lot behind the joint is yet another selling point, since it eliminates any tedious search for a spot. [link]
