We Stuff Our Faces in LA. Seriously.

A few months ago I was standing in the freezer aisle at Gelson's searching in vain for those teeny tiny little ice cream containers that I know exist. But Gelson's only seems to carry two flavors: stupid vanilla and stupider dulce de leche. And I wondered why Los Angeles, a city with such an international reputation for health consciousness (or obsession) doesn't have reasonably-sized ice cream. And it hit me: we're just a bunch of fat asses here, just like any other red-blooded American city. (photo)

I know that LA has this crazy reputation as a city where no one ever eats. We're a beacon of skinny in the middle of an "obesity crisis." But if recent articles right here on Gridskipper are any indication -- and they totally are -- we love us some mealtimes.

When British supermarket chain Tesco opened their first US grocery store here in LA, they offered a coupon: a lasagna, Caesar salad mix, baguette and red wine for some low price. In response, The Times published one of the most ridiculous editorials I have ever read, wherein the author claimed that no one in the City of Angels would dare eat that kind of food or drink red wine (believe me, when we're not eating, we're drinking. A lot). He claimed we consume nothing but tofu. That is a total lie, and it's easily refuted. Below are some of LA's most popular, homegrown food items, which all happen to be heart attacks on plates. Angelenos have already dug in, and we invite all our visitors to stuff their faces as well.

Breakfast burritos: You could start off your morning with a breakfast of eggs, bacon, cheese, guacamole and fried potatoes. OR, you could roll those items up in a fried mixture of lard and white flour - aka a tortilla. It's great on a hungover Saturday, because it'll make you fall back asleep immediately. Lucky Boy in Pasadena serves a perennially popular version. (photo)

Bacon-wrapped hot dogs: Yup, hot dogs wrapped in bacon. Not much more to say about them, except that you can get them with mayo too, if you want. These abound on street corners, especially in neighborhoods like Downtown and Echo Park. But they're illegal, so I won't tell you where to find them. It'll be your own coronary adventure.

Oki Dogs: Perhaps this is a combination of breakfast burritos and bacon-wrapped dogs. An Oki Dog is two hot dogs, pastrami, chili, and cheese wrapped in a tortilla. There is more than one Oki Dog location. Enough said.

Dessert: There's this thing at Pizzeria Mozza called a butterscotch budino. It'll change your life. It's pudding. With whipped cream. And cookies. I don't know anyone in LA who wouldn't slap their own grandma to get a spoonful of it. People also regularly slap their grandmas for the frozen custard at Lucky Devils and the ube (purple taro) milkshake at The Oinkster. And the gelato at Pazzo and the ice cream at Scoops. Grannies be watching their backs.

Unhealthy sushi: I'm from Seattle, and for the first 18 years of my life I thought of sushi only as rice and pristine raw fish, occasionally with some seaweed. Turns out Southern California has . . . elevated (?) the artform into something completely different -- something that involves deep-frying and many mayonnaise-based sauces. There are a couple places that don't make with the crazy rolls, but those are rare -- almost any sushi place in town with have more wacky rolls than not.

Cheeseburgers: Not only do we fight about "the best" the same way New Yorkers fight about pizza, we're so enamored of burgers that we'll gladly pay $14 for them. The aforementioned Lucky Devils does a good, expensive one: the thing right now is build-your-own, where all the ingredients are expensive and the cheeses full-fat. Lucky Devils, 25 Degrees, and The Counter all offer variations on that theme. In the opposite direction, Father's Office has a famous burger, but so help you if you request a substitution or even ketchup. Chef/owner Sang Yoon will cut your face so deep.

Taco trucks: Because there's nothing better at 2am than greasy greasness. As with the bacon-wrapped hot dog carts, these are generally illegal and so I don't want to ruin anyone's flow by posting their location. Except for the one on Alvarado between Sunset and Glendale; it's so popular it must be legal, or at least consciously ignored. Get a cabeza quesadilla and impress the ladies working there.

Fellow Angelenos, where else do you go to stuff your face? Let us know in the comments or tipline.