The Top 5 Lessons I've Learned From the Blogosphere

Remember the story about the pilgrim colony where the settlers all disappeared? The whole town vanished with no trace except a bunch of empty houses and a creepy message on a tree that no one understood. This post is going to be kind of like that tree message. I can't tell you anything about what's going to happen next here at Gridskipper or how I'm going to keep paying for the salmon roe, espresso, and fine Dutchmaster brand cigars that I need to keep me alive. What I can tell you is that I've learned so much while working for this crazy little web site. In fact, my time here has taught me so much that, as a parting gift to you, my dear readers, I wanted to share this list of the Top Five Life Lessons I've Learned From the Blogosphere.

5) Whales taste like ass.

4) Cats can't type for shit.

3) Quarterly "bonuses" are not the same thing as actual health benefits.

2) You'd better have a really cool girlfriend if you expect to get laid while constantly writing sarcastic posts about being a massive man whore.

And last, but most definitely not least:

1) When you find yourself looking for work, it's best to give out your e-mail address to as many people as possible.

That's pretty much it! When Chris Mohney and Amanda Kludt first approached me about working for Gridskipper in a dingy downtown cantina, I never could have imagined how educational, entertaining, and most of all, strange the next year would be for me. Thanks are due to those two crazy kids as well as John Rambow, Alisa Gould-Simon, our readers, the fearless Gridskipper contributors, Beatrice, Kaila, Jim, Cia, and the Wu Tang Clan, whose tunes propelled me through so many of my journeys through the blogosphere. It's been real. Vaya con dios mis amigos.