The Sex and Swingers Clubs of the DC Area
Whether you are a bi-curious woman who's part of a couple, a hardcore swinger without time for idle chitchat, a bear into the leather scene, someone who thinks fat-bottomed girls make the rockin' world go 'round, a confused man willing to put part of yourself into a hole in a wall and hope for the best, an elderly homosexual into autoeroticism, or a dedicated practitioner of doggystyle, Washington, DC, has a club for you. Although these sex and swingers clubs cater to a wide range of interests, most them have another thing in common: they bill themselves as "classy." (For the record, and to protect my wife's integrity, all research for this piece was conducted online or through interviews. And what's below the jump is NSFW, unless of course you work for Gridskipper.) (photo)
Walter Pierce Park
WALTER PIERCE PARK, WASHINGTON, DC 20009
Walter Pierce Park is an on-premise facility that, unlike many of the other venues described herein, does not discriminate based on sexual preference. Males and females … of all shapes and colors can be seen sniffing, humping, and presenting, although most attendees are into water sports and scat. The S&M crowd might have some complaints however; collars are allowed, but leashes generally are left at the entrance. (photo) [link]
Men's Party and the J/O Enthusiasts
14th St NW & Corcoran St NW
Washington, DC 20009
These two related parties occur in a three-story apartment in affluent Logan Circle (not too far from where a fabulous crack-for-sex deal went down). At J/O Enthusiasts … men convene to get naked and masturbate; Men's Party is an anything-goes, clothing-optional gathering. There's no need to knock during party hours, which are early evening to early morning every day of the week except Tuesday (even hedonists need to rest). The contribution is $8 for J/O Enthusiasts and $14 for Men's Parties, which covers condoms, lube, and soda (one of these three is not like the other). Guests range from the sexy to the old and out of shape. (photo) [link]
Crew Club
1321 14th St NW
Washington, DC 20005
Judging by Crew Club's website, the clientele are young, well-groomed men, who have no reservations about sharing a laugh in the sauna. So, yeah, it looks like the … pictures were swiped from an Abercrombie catalog. Memberships start at $10 for one day, but there are additional charges for lockers and access to some rooms. Crew Club has a steam room, lounges, a wet area (I don't even know what that means), a Finnish sauna, free tanning, a full gym, and private dressing rooms (which seems counterintuitive). The club is always open; if you go, expect to be too. [link]
The House of Comfort
Landover Rd & Randolph St
Hyattsville, MD 20784
A private residence in Hyattsville, The House of Comfort has a no-nonsense approach to fooling around: "Socialize in the living room and dining room. Get your freak on in … the bedrooms. DON'T mess up the mood. In the bedroom keep it quiet and get it in." Members are mostly black and single males need an invite to attend a party, which per the club's Evites seem to occur monthly. And on The House of Comfort's website, you also can submit your swinger-inspired poetry, "So while you're feasting on the richness of my sexual harvest, / I have already leaned below to wrap my saturated mouth around your long, thick dick!" Apparently Emily Dickinson is a member. [link]
Voluptous Cafe
8639 16th St
Silver Spring, MD 20910
As for what kind of people would enjoy Voluptuous Cafe, well, I'll let its FAQ address that issue: "Does my dick size matter? As for whether or not you can come to a … party or receive membership, no it does not matter. But lets take a moment to get real on the subject. If you are sporting 4 inches hard, do not expect most women to be hunting you down. This community is for Voluptuous women and most have ample bottoms. You would tend to need a fair amount of length to make things interesting for these ladies." Membership is $10 a month, parties are held monthly, and the clothes come off at 10:30 p.m. Single men are allowed (just don't expect to get any if you have a dinky). [link]
Capital Cream
Just south of the Beltway between Rt. 1 and the GW Parkway, Alexandria, VA
Capital Cream is held in a private residence (so it's clearly on-premise), the address is only revealed to Cream members who have RSVP'd for a party. Three levels of the … house are open to guests and it has a full open bar, lounges, play rooms, a dance floor, and a crowd ranging from 21 to their 50s with no problem getting frisky. Some of the rooms, however, are little more than the proverbial mattress on the floor (although one of them is jazzed up with some frat-dorm-style Playboy bunny wall hangings). Membership is $100 for couples, free for single women. [link]
DC Starz
1816 Half St SW
Washington, DC 20024
DC Starz is Washington's only on-premise lifestyle club (that means the lovin' happens there). The club holds parties every other Saturday night at The Crucible that … start around 9 p.m. (on the off Saturdays BDSM parties are held there). This club has been around for 37 years (no word on whether any of the founding members still attend). Single men are admitted to some events. DC Starz offers memberships but most events are open to non-members as well, kinda like Toastmasters. Ticket prices vary depending on the theme but seem to range from $30 to $80. [link]
Entre Nous
1326 U St NW
Washington, DC 20009
Held Saturdays from 9 p.m. to 3 a.m. at Bar Nun, Entre Nous is an off-premise lifestyle club (that means the lovin' happens elsewhere). Most nights there is a theme … (sex-art body painting, "pastease," and risque business), because straight-up orgies get tedious. Although actually the criticism of EN is that there's too much flirting and not enough playing. EN also hosts most parties for Capital Lipstick, "the DC area's largest bi-seuxal women's social group" (narrowly besting the Junior League). No single men are allowed and no membership is required. Cover is $40 for couples, nothing for the ladies. [link]
