Ninety-six years ago, the Japanese first lady gave her American counterpart some pretty cherry trees, and the two countries have been trading flowers and bombs of friendship ever since. Washington now welcomes more than one million visitors in a beautiful but crazy two-week period. Tourists come from all over to enjoy the lovely cherry blossoms and celebrate the best of Japanese culture (like pixelated porn and whale in a can). This truly is the best time to visit the capital: spring is in the air, the city looks nice, and grumpy Washingtonians exude about as much cheer as they can muster. The problem is that visitors outnumber the cherry trees 267 to one, so any delicate Shintoist attempts to connect with nature quickly turns into an Osaka traffic jam. Crowds and commercialization suck bad, but don't lose hope. Here's a few inside tips to keep you in the know and above the fray, so that every Cherry Blossom Festival feels like your first. (photo: Brian Gratwicke)