All stories about "Consumerist"

On March 30th the EU-US Open Skies Agreement comes into full effect, completely changing the face of cross-Atlantic air travel. Previously, European Union carriers could only operate nonstops from their home country, but with the Open Skies Agreement, the international airline playing field finally gets a bit more level. (By 2010 EU countries may be able to own and operate U.S. airlines, but that's a whole other story.)

Bloggers are gluttons for self-congratulation and petty ingratitude. Many remarked on the recent maneuver by our despised Transportation Security Administration to establish a somewhat freewheeling blog, though tagged with a clunker of a name ("Evolution of Security"). Now, bloggers are falling all over themselves with glee for having pointed out a foolish TSA screening process taking place at some airports, then wringing a blog apology from the TSA. Except it wasn't an apology, but a surprisingly forthright admission of a mistake. And even that gets mocked, ridiculed, and somehow also considered further proof of the TSA's incompetence. Bloggers! I'm here to tell you: Hang up thy swords, stow thy muskets, and relax. The TSA blog is the best thing to happen to American air travel since the noise-canceling headphone.

Like everybody else out there, I am part of an airline rewards program, having joined thinking that I can spend money and earn copious extra miles, just by swiping my card at places I already frequent. It doesn't get any easier -- at least until you realize that while there may be "hundreds of restaurants in your area to earn double and triple points," none of them happen to be restaurants you know. This list of favorites around the westside of Los Angeles is culled from Rewardsnetwork.com, the dining services partner for most of the popular airlines in the US (notable exception: those cleavage haters at Southwest).

Back in August, the Transportation Security Administration started shunting anyone wearing "bulky headwear" into an automatic secondary screening, usually requiring the removal of said headwear. This was particularly irritating to Sikhs, since doffing their turban is considered embarrassing, not to mention time-consuming in both the removal and rewrapping. After a public outcry from Sikhs and others, the TSA yesterday revised its rules, now merging turbans and everything else above the neck into the "bulky clothing" category, which means it can be sufficiently checked with a patdown at a security checkpoint (though screeners can still request, i.e. demand, that the headwear be removed in a private area for inspection). Wary of getting into endless debates about other fixed headgear, the TSA issued a blanket amnesty for anyone who doesn't want to bare their pate for any reason, religious or otherwise. As this AP story notes, this ruling covers not only turbans, but also "cowboy hats," not to mention "berets," answering protests from ornery gunslingers and puckish mimes -- all of whom have just as much reason to keep their hats as those irritable Sikhs, certainly.

If you've been following the travel press over the past couple of days, you've probably read about Spirit Airlines CEO Ben Baldanza's "big goof." An Orlando couple named James and Christine booked a flight on Spirit to Atlanta. Their flight was delayed by three and a half hours, and apparently everybody at Spirit was mean to them, so not only did they miss the concert they had tickets for on the first night, they also got their feelings hurt. When they returned home, they made several attempts to complain about their experience to Spirit's customer service department, but apparently everybody there was also a jerk. Eventually, James and Christine found Spirit CEO Baldanza's email address and fired off a long, extremely detailed account about their nightmare flight and attempts to complain about it, demanding a refund for their airfare, concert tickets, hotel, and parking. Baldanza, in turn, sent a note to one of his staffers, asking that they respond to the complaint, but his email inadvertently included James and Christine's email address. Baldanza's email reads: "Please respond, Pasquale, but we owe him nothing as far as I'm concerned. Let him tell the world how bad we are. He's never flown us before anyway and will be back when we save him a penny." Well, James and Christine did go out and tell the world, and the world responded with predictable outrage. But you know what? Baldanza is absolutely right.

Christopher Elliott is a meat & potatoes guy who spends most of his time covering the operational side of travel -- which in brief terms, amounts to collating and tracking a lot of consumer bitchery. In the latest installment of his syndicated column "The Troubleshooter," he notes that all travelers have their personal blacklists of entities they'll never do business with again, in the face of all reason, due to past slights (repeated or otherwise, imaginary or actual). Elliott then goes on to present a laundry list of collected grievances from his readers, which is all well and good, but I was hoping we'd get to see Elliott's blacklist. Of course, he can't really devote a column to that, since he's scrupulous journalist. Fortunately, I am not.

OK, this is worth an update on the monkey smuggler who brought a marmoset from Peru into La Guardia airport by hiding it under his hat. Unsurprisingly, the Daily News gets the best quote on the story:

Laura Uselding, a spokeswoman for the Transportation Security Administration, said that had the monkey been carrying weapons or explosives, an alarm would have triggered.

Couldn't keep monkey biz under his hat [NYDN]

There's no travel biz jabberwock more sadly mythical than the airline passengers' bill of rights, and few such myths excite such customer passion, industry fear, and amateur pedantry. These codified lists of rights have been kicked around for the past decade in various forms, though only the European Union has dared to actually make it official. In the United States, such ideas pop up whenever a particularly egregious case of airline-on-customer violence makes the news, and they run the gamut from the tediously satirical to the exhaustively detailed. When JetBlue passengers were stranded for hours on a frozen JFK runway earlier this year, the airline responded to the bad press by instituting its own Customer Bill of Rights, a document which makes comically serious use of the phrase "Controllable Irregularity."

Some might consider the United Nations' Office on Drugs and Crime World Drug Report an important tool for understanding and addressing the global narcotics problem. Others might enjoy it as a valuable trip-planning resource! If you and "some guy you know" fall into the latter category, we've compiled a map of the 20 cheapest places in the world to buy cocaine. It shouldn't shock that Colombia tops the list, since they're practically giving the stuff away. For comparison's sake, the "typical" retail street price for a gram of cocaine in the United States is given as $110. Poor undercoked New Zealanders supposedly pay a credulity-straining $714.30 per gram. Agree or disagree, about that figure or the others? Say so. Data was collected 2004 to 2005, and the report omits several countries for various reasons; note also we're disregarding prices for crack and cocoa base. Hope you've been saving up for a little Latin America ski vacation.

The Los Angeles Times takes a look at the ultra-cheap airlines now operating in the United States, particularly Skybus, which made waves last month with its European-style $10 loss-leader airfares. Of course, only 10 of those $10 seats are available per flight, and forget calling anyone if you have a problem -- Skybus only talks through the Internet, man. But there are a couple innaresting new nuggets in the LAT piece. For instance, companies can fork over $500,000 to get their logos on Skybus scary orange planes. Potentially weirder is that flight attendants are paid partly on commission, since all food and drinks must be purchased onboard -- 10% commission in fact. But trust them when they say that the $10 meat loaf plate is absolutely delicious.

Airline ticket: $10; pillow: $15 [LAT]

-- Chris Mohney

We receive our share of irrelevant press releases ("PROMOTE YOUR SPORTS BUSINESS!"), plus almost as many ostensibly relevant PR emails that are simply boring. Then there's the steady stream of press releases out of Las Vegas promoting this or that washed-up entertainer "headlining" at such-and-such small-time casino. Here's a somewhat unusual one though, and not just because it addressed us an "esteemed member of the media." Linda Smith of Vegas charity "Opportunity Village" used a publicist to send out a diatribe about her recent mistreatment at the hands of the TSA. They took her plum pudding, man! Still, one has to marvel at the TSA's paranoia, not to mention the inherent comedy of American Airlines issuing a toiletries kit that the TSA screeners immediately confiscate.

----------------------------------------

Dear esteemed member of the media,

As a frequent air traveler, I am as concerned as anyone with security. I know that certain safeguards and measures have had to be put in place in this dangerous new century. But, given the importance of the security measures air travelers must now comply with, I don't understand how the employees of an agency as vital as our government's Transportation Security Administration (TSA) can be so, well, clueless.

Our coupon-clipping brothers at Consumerist love themselves some price-drop watching -- you buy something, you wait for its price to drop, you get the difference refunded. While a boon to suburbanites on Home Depot excursions, such drops are less useful to wanderlusty types, who are disinclined to recheck the changeable sorcery of airfare pricing after a purchase. However, it's a little-known fact that most major airlines do offer price-drop refunds for a short period after you a buy a ticket. That's where "stealth start-up" known as Yapta (Your Amazing Personal Assistant) comes in.

JetBlue had considerable cancellation troubles during the last episode of bad Northeastern weather, and with the two-day gullywasher still hovering over the region, rain cancellations for Monday are pushing 50 flights. A reader points out that the airline has stopped taking customer calls -- if you ring JetBlue's toll-free number, an apologetic lady greeter says that they're not accepting new contacts due to high volume. "This call ends now," she says firmly but kindly, before disconnecting and leaving you to your own devices. "I just got served by JetBlue," says a stunned caller. The baggage center numbers still work, though.

JetBlue cancels more flights due to storm [Reuters]

UPDATE: They're taking calls once again, as the Northeast begins drying out and stranded customers are moved on and/or strangled.

-- Chris Mohney

The strange calculus of flight itinerary changes has resulted in much bad comedy, but rarely is the bad comedy quite so overt. In the following exchange sent in by a reader, Expedia required verbal confirmation of a traveler's flight number change, then also forced the customer to serve as a sounding board for amateur improv night.

Over Friday night, I received an email from Expedia alerting me to another change in my itinerary (this would be the 2nd one) and said this one actually required me to "provide instructions of how you would like for us to proceed." It did not mention the nature of the change, but just demanded I call Expedia at once.

Though this may fall slightly outside of the purview of either urbanity or travel, Architectonic's project Hosting a Guest proves to be a useful exercise, I imagine, for many of our readers who frequently, by dint of their breadth of knowledge and all-round friendliness, find themselves playing host. Architectonic basically worked with a number of designers to solve problems commonly associated with having a guest in a small space. Our favorite is this pillow designed by Debra Clark called the "Sharing Pillow" for use when there's only one bed and two people. I can't tell you how handy this pillow would have been in the past. I mean, so you're in bed with some girl/platonic friend in the middle of the night, your head next to hers. And then you know you start kind of spooning, and then you know, maybe a couple of kisses and the next thing you know, your friendship's ruined. With the Sharing Pillow, you don't even need self-control. It's like a friendship preserver/night erection prophylactic. And this, I imagine, must be quite helpful for nearly all of you 25-34 year olds out there.

Hosting a Guest [via Design Spotter]

Previously: Amsterdam's Boutique: Bland Name, Bling Stock, Shyno Shirts: SMS-ual Intercourse, Adidas's Of the World: UntieGridskipper Gift Guide: For Those Who Value Hygeine

Nothing like a crippled dog to embody such an abstract concept as Faith or a hilarious baggage hijinks to serve as a metaphor for America's crisis of...Faith. Faith (the dog) is a two-legged canine who walks on her hindlegs. America is American Airlines who recentl ylost the bitch on a flight to Orlando. Faith wandered around until meeting back up with her thankful owner who had lost Faith but now found Faith. Fuck, this is too easy. Watch the video.

Airline Loses Passengers Two-Legged Dog [WOAI]
Faith the Dog [Official site]

Previously: Planetout Gay Travel Awards, Where My Dogs At?

As all of you must know, hundreds of Jet Blue passengers were frozen to the JFK tarmac for 10 (NYP) or 11 Daily News) hours yesterday. The planes were delayed when other craft were similarly frozen to the runway. Bound for more milder climes like Cancun and Phoenix, the passengers were forced to sustain themselves Terra Chips "the official Jet Blue snack" and pretzels. The well-stocked liquor cabinet remained under lock and key while the hostages sweltered in the not air-conditioned plane. Some disrobed, shedding and sitting on their jackets. After a few minutes, panic broke out. After a few hours, the weaker passengers were rounded up and slaughtered by their by then famished seatmates, their bodies cooked under the bright seat spotlights. Within spitting distance from the terminal, but not allowed to deplane, these ordinary young men and women were driven to the very limits of human endurance. And when the doors finally opened, the flashpans of reporters like lights at the end of the tunnel, the cabin was nothing but a smoke-filled bloody battleground with carcasses and carrion spread like carry ons along the aisles, and a feral look in the eyes of Flight 755 passengers to Aruba.

Jetblues for Stuck Fliers [NY Daily News]
10 Hours on Jetglue [NYP]

Previously: Fly Feast Fell Bad, Gross Airplane Food to Get Grosser, Jetblue: The Tesla of the Air or Huntington Labs Gone Aloft?

As recently reported here and by our friends at Consumerist, Virgin America won't be getting any action soon. Rejected by the FAA, Branson et al took to YouTube, in an effort to ignite a people's revolution. Sadly for him, no great leap forward seems to be in the making. But Branson isn't one to put all his eggs in one basket, obviously. So, on Thursday he plans to launch a stem-cell cold storage facility. The venture, in which blood is stored from the umbilical cord and placenta of newborns, all but ensures future generations of customers for Virgin America, if it ever gets off the ground, and Virgin Galactic, now that Shatner backed out and Lance Bass is too gay to space walk. But by far the best part is that if Virgin is having a hard time filling seats, all they need do is clone a couple hundred new souls. There's no word on the name but keeping in line with Branson's naming scheme, we're guessing Virgin Placenta.

Branson Goes Brainy [Times UK]

Previously: Ask Daddy Gridskipper: Virgin America, Virgin Denied Heading to YouTube for Revenge, Virgin Airfare Fun

Once again proving nothing is immune to the crystal meth epidemic, a recent news report forewarns hotel guests from using the in-room coffee pot as, yes, it may have been used to cook up meth.

I know enough now that whenever I go to a hotel, regardless of how nice it is, I'll never use a coffee pot," said Marshall County District Attorney Steve Marshall....meth labs in hotels aren't anything new, Rick Phillips of the Marshall County Drug Enforcement Unit says there's definitely a risk. "The coffee makers that you find in every motel room is an ideal heat source. They mix it up in the coffee pot, put it on a heat source and let it sit there and cook," said Phillips.

Think Twice Before Using Hotel Coffee Pots [WAFF]

[Photo: Faces of Meth]

Previously: Don't Get Shafted in New York Restaurant Week, Budget Travel Guide to Being A Playa But Not Crushing Alot, Thank God it is 5:00 PM Somewhere

Business Travel News Online reports that JFK is getting dozens of mobile charging stations, and that more Port Authority locations are on the way. This begins to reverse the airport blackout trend. About mothereffing time.

More than 50 mobile charging stations are to be installed at John F. Kennedy International Airport this month to allow travelers to power up their cell phones, computers and PDAs free of charge, according to a release by Samsung Mobile and the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey. The stations, which are to be installed in every JFK terminal by the end of January, provide four electrical outlets per station. The initiative was launched by the Port Authority to alleviate increasing demand for electrical outlets during the holiday season... Other Port Authority properties, such as bus and train terminals, are likely targets for expansion.

Samsung Provides JFK Travelers With Mobile Recharging [BTNOnline]
Airport Power Blackout [Gridskipper]
Airport Blackout Relief [Gridskipper]

[Text: Omri Ceren Photo: J-Whoah/Flickr]

Previously: The Best Airports for Business Travelers, Smokes on a Plane, Mixing Business, Pleasure and Naked Forecasters, Wifi Cafes in London with Hot PIxxx, Free New Orleans WiFi = Homeless Cops

British Airways has taken its baggage mishandling to new heights. As the Daily Mail reports, the airline has been off-loading its lost luggage (some 28,000 bags) to cheap baggage sorters in Italy thus elongating their vacations from their rightful owners. Italy being Italy, the bags, of course, have been left unsorted with many of them just being shipped back to Heathrow. Some have even stayed in the bel paese enjoying the pasta and meatballs. (Statistically this is probably true though we can't furnish any proof, like ragu-stained Trumi roll-ons). BA's luggage fiasco started on Dec. 29 when a baggage belt broke in Heathrow, fog happened and thousands of bags ended up pulling a Gilligan's Island. BA further stuck its nose into the mess of its own make when it was uncovered that they'd been charging customers 3p a minute to call its baggage helpline. As the Mail notes, the greedy prick prize has got to go to British Midlands, another carrier, that charges callers to its baggage helpline a usurious 7.5p a minute. Shelling out that kind of sterling, I'd expect heavy breathing, dirty talk and an infant crying in the background.

BA luggage farce deepens as bags are sent to Italy [Daily Mail]

Previously: RyanAir: Mid20s Rebellion, Sluggers Dug Out of Luggage Not Allowed on Deck, Tales of JFK

Fellow blogger and Josh, Josh Spear and Aaron from Brandplay are giving a presentation on Brand Utopia tonight in Chicago's Columbia College. Brand Utopia is the idea that certain brands are animated not merely by utility but by a guiding concept. Apple for instance by design, simplicity and power. The slide above shows good brands vs. bad brands. So if you're in Chicago, into brands, specifically into glorifying the good ones and denouncing the bad ones, may we suggest you stop by Columbia College. Or, just drive your Buick to Dunkin' Donuts, sit in the parking lot surfing the nets on your Dell and then return to whatever unenlightened backwater you came from on a luxurious and filthy Delta. Huzzah.

Brand Utopia

Previously: Chicago Recreates Moroccan Souk, Beggars Not Included, The Bird Whisperer Lulls Chicago Pigeons, Bookman's Alley Back Alley Books, Pic of the Day: Commutes, Shopping WIcker Park, Insider Restaurant Guide in Chicago

If you thought all the airport TSA guys and gals had to show for their work was drawer after drawer of nail scissors you'd be wrong (well, a little). The folks over at Telstar Logistics (in reality, an old editor of mine--and nice guy--Todd Lappin) came upon this special TSA display of confiscated baseball bats at the Louisville airport, where many a flyer has forgotten that Louisville Sluggers are weapons too. And if bats are weapons, baseball is war: a bunch of guys swinging their weapons, running around bases and just trying to get home.

As Telstar Logistics says of its photo, "Sadly, this is the closest thing to 'local flavor' that I've seen at any of the otherwise uniformly-grim TSA outposts around the country."

Confiscated bats at Louisville airport [boingboing.net]
What Happens When Local Industry Crosses Paths with the TSA in Lousiville [Flickr]
Telstar Logistics [Official site]

[Ian Mount]

Previously: Sea Lion Attacks And Other Harbingers of Judgment Day, Don't Drink The Water Up There, Criminal Indictment of the Week, Snoop Dogg: This Week in Playa Hating

At the beginning of last March, we gave you a roundup of efforts by airports to lock up and shut down electrical outlets. It looks like that trend is finally being reversed:

A convergence of factors -- including new wireless Internet access in terminals, stricter airport security measures and the proliferation of power-hungry gadgets -- has added to the deficit of outlets. Airports are rushing to add new ones... Atlanta's airport, the nation's busiest, is adding new outlets to accommodate customers.

After the jump, some tips for making sure that you never find yourself with a lifeless laptop. Because the alternative is talking to the human seated next to you on the plane. AWK-WARD.

Look, it's the Travelocity Roaming Gnome, "enforcer" of the Travelocity Guarantee. Sadly, the Gnome doesn't take customer service calls, as Consumerist points out this Flyertalk thread on a typical Guarantee arbitration. The essence is that if you get in a fix, Travelocity may try to console you with an amended itinerary or discounts or coupons, but they aren't going to make up price differentials or issue refunds. One can only imagine the horror Travelocity phone reps face on a daily basis because of this Guarantee, as it sets them up to take the blame for every vendor mistake, misprint, or outright chicanery. But really, it's their own fault for using a word like "guarantee" that really amounts to something like "memo of understanding."

Travelocity Atrocity [Consumerist]
All You Ever Wanted To Know About the Travelocity "Guarantee" [Flyertalk]
The Travelocity Guarantee [Travelocity]

Previously: Airfare Watchdog Goes Deep, Travelocity Goes More Gay, GoTrump.com: You're Liar'd, Orbtiz So Far Behind, Thinks It's Ahead, Ask Gridskipper: How to Search for Airfares by Price?

Consumerist points us to a story on the Upgrade blog about various sites that allow you to automatically check in for your upcoming Southwest Airlines flights at the earliest possible time, thus maximizing your chances of getting a "Group A" boarding pass and getting on the plane in the first herd. Unfortunately, Southwest takes a dim view of the practice and has sued to stop the sites. BoarFirst and Aline Online are still up and running, charging about $5 for their services. PlaneFast does the same thing for free, though they ask for a donation. APassOnly is the only site to cave in to Southwest's demands, apparently ceasing operations. Best get in while the gettin's good, before a bushel of Texas airline whoop-ass unloads on the remaining holdouts.

Southwest Airlines Sues To Keep Seating Inconvenient [Consumerist]
Getting the best seats on Southwest just got harder [Upgrade]
BoarFirst [Official site]
Aline Online [Official site]
PlaneFast [Official site]
APassOnly [Official site]

[Photo: Generation X-Ray]

Previously: Southwest Dings Macs, Just a Ding-Dong Minute, Customer of Size Denied, Southwest Spreads the Luv, Customers of Unusual Size

During a not atypically awful Memorial Day airline horror story over on Consumerist, commenters contemplate and explicate the dreaded SSSS designation -- a code that appears on your ticket if you're destined for a little extra-special security attention. In other words, admit that you're a terrorist. Just admit it, damn you! No? All right, please step over here and raise your arms for a good wanding. Officials deny that the SSSS pops up based on race, but they readily admit that anyone who buys or changes a ticket within 24 hours of takeoff often gets SSSSed with extreme prejudice. And apparently once you get it, there's no escaping it. No amount of whining can get rid of the bestial mark, so just relax and try to enjoy the experience.

UPDATE: Trifecta of Crappy Airplane Stories [Consumerist]

[Photo: SoopahViv]

Previously: Big Fire at Istanbul Airport, Airport Security Wait Times, Eos Escort Service, Airplane Safety Pantomime, Airplane Fear Stamps

The "ultimate lifestyle hotel for the 21st century" promises a bleak 94 years indeed, as the Hudson Hotel takes it on the chin again over at sib site Consumerist. After Jason Calacanis declared the Hudson the "worst hotel in the world" and thusly got his bill chopped, it's biz as usual. Again with the cold room and unsympathetic staff, and now with the clanging AC unit. Curious, since as cold-clime folks know, such clanging is usually the result of the heat coming on. Perhaps they just got a broke-ass boiler downstairs at the Hudson. Hey, doubles are going for $249 a night this weekend! You can always warm yourself by the fire in the library.

Turning the Tables on the Hudson [Consumerist]
Hudson Hotel [Official site]

Previously: Jason Calacanis Victorious, Jason Calacanis Hotel Nightmare, T+L's 15 Coolest New Hotels, GrandLife Downtownist Propaganda, NYC Hotelapalooza