All stories about "Matt Levin"

San Francisco has hills -- 43 "official" hills, 50-plus by the count of enthusiasts. Many have incredible views, and as any fourth-grader can tell you, going up means you get to look down. Here's a rundown of the best elevations in town, and for good measure, I've thrown in a few other great vantage points for those who might be less vertically inclined. And no, it's not a semi-official compendium of hills or lookout spots, but some of the most interesting and/or accessible.

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That's right, you pastel-polo'ed pansies, I'm calling you out. There's more to San Francisco than the Marina, North Beach, and the trendy part of the Mission. Pounding Jager bombs and picking a fight in the doorway of the Mauna Loa does not make you a hardass. However, rolling cool and confident in the Bayview, Hunters Point, Tenderloin (at night, buddy), and the Western Addition (not short-cutting down Laguna in your BMW to get it detailed at Touchless Car Wash) may be the first step in getting at least a temporary ghetto pass. Spread your J Crew wings and check out some new 'hoods. And FYI: "Section 8" isn't that new restaurant on Union.

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Imagine: It's Friday night in your average sausage-fest bar, and the doucheitude is suffocating. The carpet-bombing of Axe bodyspray and popped collars makes Dresden look like dollar night at Scores. On the off chance that you haven't been hypnotized by the glow of the Miller Lite-coated Golden Tee, it's time to hatch an escape plan quickly. Read on for your weekend guide to playing hookup bingo like your grandmother on Benzedrine. At someplace better. All of them are in haiku. Sorry about that.

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So what makes a good urban neighborhood wine shop? The Natural Laws of the Alcohol Universe dictate that it 1) be owner-operated, 2) have regular tastings (almost always), 3) not be primarily a wine bar that happens to sell wine, 4) have a great liquor selection as well (almost always), and 5) not be currently owned by anyone who bangs their best friend's wife (lookin' at you, Mr. Mayor). Read on for our overly opinionated guide to overly opinionated wine proprietors, with some worthwhile non-neighborhoody places thrown in for good measure.

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A great way to evaluate a neighborhood is to apply the "Twilight Zone Test" -- If by some freak accident of space and time you were stuck on the main street of that neighborhood forever, how long before you go completely insane? In the San Francisco Neighborhood Wars, Russian Hill's Upper Polk Street (north of Broadway and south of Union) is a surprisingly resilient competitor, trendy-ish without being cheesy and over-gentrified, with enough dining, drinking, and entertainment options to last until the closing credits. Read on for your morning-to-midnight (and possibly lifetime) guide to Upper Polk.

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There are three scenarios in which an amazing skyline view or people-watching potential is essential. 1) First dates (i.e. meals that have potential to single-handedly redefine the phrase "awkward silence"). 2) Any meal with your parents (so you can point to the skyline and repeatedly distract them from the fact that it's noon on a Tuesday and you reek of discount vodka and you're not wearing any shoes). And, 3) Dining on the prowl when you're looking to get frisky with your booth-neighbors (roofie-tinis all round.) There's plenty of time to think of nicer synonyms for "ogling" while stuffing your belly at the following hotspots.

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Do you a) have two or more monitors on your desktop, b) wear sandals with socks without blinking an eye, and/or c) know that a LAN party is not a Hispanic social event? If so, then congratulations -- you're a geek. Forget about the social stigma, though, as geekdom is actually considered by some to be an aphrodisiac. If you've got a hot date and expect any chance of stuffing all your RAM in her motherboard, you need to woo her in a way that doesn't put you firmly in the online-only friends zone and maximizes the appeal of your talents. Read on for our guide to charming her out of her geek pants faster than you can say "another hilarious naughty double entendre."

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There's nothing like a quality tasting guided by a cocktail expert, such as the one last week led by Plymouth's Sean Harrison at Absinthe in San Francisco, to stir some deep thinking about the art of the buzz hunt. Sometimes you're looking for a mixology lab that can do it all, and sometimes you're just looking to do one thing right and do it to excess. There's an art to finding that elusive cocktail that's worth the price to imbibe over and over, so here's a highlight list of drinks and the places to find them in to line up in your sights. One note: Ordering an apple-tini, anywhere and everywhere, will result in swift and certain death.

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Take a lesson from the drunkest people on the planet (sorry, Germans) -- Irish pubs are made fer' drinkin'. Food is (usually) an afterthought, and unless you've got some sort of cabbage addiction, is meant for sopping up the booze. San Francisco has relatively large and active Irish expat population, and like fat Americans eating at McDonald's on vacation, they flock to the local Irish joints -- a bizarre number of which are clustered on Geary in the Inner Richmond. The Irish population swells during the summer with Irish college students, and a lot of places are often staffed with Irish nationals getting paid under the table who have "overstayed their visas" (like seven years ago), so you're sure to find some authentic flavor at most joints.

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San Francisco is not known for a stellar live music scene compared to LA and NYC, as the population of disaffected musical youth from the Midwest is notably smaller. Regardless, SF can hold its own with a roster of well-known (and not-so-well known) venues, and the city is a touring mainstay for bands of all genres and notoriety. So if you actually give a shit about ambiance, sound, and sightlines, here's your guide to places that don't suck.

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It's 1:55 a.m., you're wasted, hungry, and you're not getting action tonight -- the obvious next step is to find some cheap greasy food and stuff your fat face. There are crappy pizzas and nasty burritos galore in the city, so here's a guide to the basics and some more interesting options to temporarily fill that vacant void in your soul (and leave you bloated well into the next day.) Drunken satiety mandatory; shopping for bigger jeans and sense of self-worth totally optional.

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You've traded in your PBR for Chimay, your ironic t-shirts for understated plaids, you believe in the death penalty for anyone who's looked twice at a Rod Stewart album -- and you've got a hot date. To seal the deal, you need to dance on the blade of a knife: too classy, and you look like a Marina schlub, but too grungy, and you look like a depressed cheapskate. You washed your Thundercats underwear for this special occasion, and with this handy guide, those skivvies will wind up on the floor next to a Conor Oberst CD and a first-run copy of The Road To Wellville.

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Bastille Day has arrived again, which always provokes a multitude of deep thoughts from San Franciscans, usually in this order: 1) What the hell is Bastille Day? 2) How do you actually pronounce "Bastille"? 3) French independence? Are you kidding me? 4) Oh, an excuse to drink all day in the summer? Ah, I get it. So whether or not you are a card-carrying full-blooded membre de la nation française, actually care about the Tour De France, or just want to meet some inebriated foreign exchange students, here's your guide to the full day of festivities in SF (and some additional French-inspired options that won't break the bank.) Oui!

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Some people come to San Francisco, stay in an unremarkable chain hotel in Union Square (double boring!) or Fisherman's Wharf (SF's version of Disneyland), and spend their days waddling between such cultural landmarks as Benny B the Friendly Golden Gate Avenue Crack Dealer and the highly authentic Pier 39. Others know that the SF's 49 square miles have much more to offer, and the first step to really experiencing the city is to locate one's self outside of the tourist dead zones. You can pay through the nose for a four-star hotel, and there are also amazing properties to the north and south of the city. But for everyone else who doesn't have a swimming pool full of benjamins and wants to stay in SF proper, here are the best values in areas where you might actually come across a local.

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Pop quiz, hotshot: You're in downtown San Francisco at the edge of the Tenderloin, heart of crapping-in-the-street homeless guy territory, surrounded by soulless shopping and office buildings, camped out on a typical freezing cold SF summer day, and you need to eat, sleep, check your email, and release the bladder demons. What do you do? If you're a top-notch double-o-geek, you will have downloaded, linked, geocached, and tattooed on your forearm this handy survival guide to iPhone campery near the flagship Apple Store in downtown SF. "Mission Accomplished" banner, aircraft carrier, and nut-hugging flight suit are strictly optional.

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