All stories about "Valleywag"

Hey, it's Gridskipper's last day at the parent company! Who knows what will happen at our shiny new home. I, for one, will be bowing out of my relatively specious remaining duties, and for all we know, Adam's housecat will be in charge after sundown. But there's been lots of speculation -- OK, some occasional speculation -- regarding who or what might have tried to pry Gridskipper out of Gawker Media's warm, supple, sticky tentacles. Here's the exclusive behind-the-chiffarobe report on what really went down in Nick Denton's smoke-filled lavatory.

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There's no workout less satisfying than the free yoga class at your gym. You know, the one with sticky, sweat-speckled floors, the constant bang of dropped weights, and that tweaky, cut-rate Pilates instructor just trying to pick up extra cash. Why settle for half-assed when the Bay area is teeming with great yoga teachers and studios in every neighborhood? These are the best places to get your hala-asana on, whether you're a beginner or a near-yogi. Almost every studio offers a great deal on packages for first timers, so take advantage and try at least a few. (jackpotfbd/flickr)

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All-you-can-eat specials are usually only offered in Vegas or suburbia. In cities like San Francisco, the restaurants are wiser and the diners greedier -- a side effect of paying ridiculous rents and having constant munchies. Short of hitting the Daly City Sizzler or milking the Olive Garden's unlimited salad and bread sticks, what's a serious eater/cheap bastard/tapeworm-haver to do? Luckily, if you know where to look you can find some excellent restaurants with unlimited buffets, steaks, cocktails, and tempura right under your nose. So go forth and binge, purge, and binge some more. (photo)

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Much like bumper stickers, tattoos say something about you. Sure, they don't scream "angry sailor" like they used to, thanks to tattoos being welcomed into the "mainstream" (and by mainstream, we mean Britney). Since you're inked for life, it only makes sense to deliberate over your artist like making a car purchase -- no returns, and getting rid of it is more trouble than it's worth. Here are some of the best tattoo shops in San Francisco. I happen to like Japanese-style tattoos (which make up the majority of the pics here) but all these tattoo shops offer a variety of styles. So what are you waiting for? Go grab some ink! (photo)

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Is your relationship in need of some spark? Are you looking to bring some healthy exploration into the bedroom? Unhealthy exploration? Anyone who's not your significant other? A ball-gag? San Francisco is hands-down one of the best cities for curious couples interested in a little guilt-free kink. Unfortunately, finding a third for your ménage à trois requires being in the right place at the right time. Craigslist is a crap shoot, and escorts can be icky (well, except for her, she's smokin'), so we've made a list of spots filled with willing hotties for every taste. Be classy: buy them some drinks first and a cab after.

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Ahh, the college bar scene. The 21st birthday celebrations, the many rounds of shots, the "girls' night out" storming of the bars. San Francisco has colleges, but it isn't really a college town: so where do nubile young coeds go to imbibe? Surely the dorms and nearby craphole housing units have raging 20 and under parties, but as a non-student, they're usually hard to find and hard to crash, and sometimes being called an old perv stings. Instead, throw yourself in destiny's way and head over to these bars. They are the unofficial watering holes of colleges in San Francisco, and will not be uber-trendy (it helps with sneaking in 19 and 20-year olds). They'll also be easy on the wallet and packed with other students. Let the college games begin.

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Are you lonely? Wondering what to do with that tax return? Do you miss the sense of belonging you once felt as a raver, on the college lacrosse team, or while serving jury duty? Try joining a cult! Cults can serve a variety of functions like creating tight knit communities, justifying polyamory, or ushering followers comfortably into the afterlife. The Bay Area has a rich history of cult activity and has even hosted some of the 20th century's most notable cults like the People's Temple, Deadheads, and The Gays. So say goodbye to your inhibitions (and immediate family), and find the cult that's right for you!

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Although they are breaking restaurant conventions and Health Code regulations, "Secret Cafes", nomadic kitchens with migratory cooks, are popping up all over the place, including in San Francisco. Traditional restaurant culture isn't in jeopardy, but at least people are embracing the occasional breath of fresh air. At secret cafes, chefs can break free from a constraining menu and diners can engage with each other. What makes these hidden hotspots popular is that they combine an intimate potluck with a refined private bohemian club without the risk of a guest bringing a dud dish or a fixed location that attracts hordes of scenester lemmings. Best of all, is the ever-tantalizing hint of exclusivity and ego-petting for the participants. The result is a super supper experience that challenges the dining status quo.

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We've done it in New York (twice!) and even in Sydney, so why not San Francisco. The sex industry is thriving here -- so much so, in fact, that MSNBC recently highlighted the City by the Bay in their special on "Sex Slaves in America." The TV special documented the escalating battle between San Francisco's many illicit massage parlors and the city officials trying to shut them down. Even though morality expert Mayor Gavin Newsom has made combating prostitution in his city a priority, online reviews make it clear that there are still many places to get a handjob or pay for sex in San Francisco. The spots on this list even lack the telltale signs of human trafficking, which means only your fantasies will leave you feeling dirty. If your favorite source of happy endings isn't on this list, please let us know in the comments or via the tipline.

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San Francisco is a burrito town. That being said, we do burgers right too. Gridskipper has talked burgers from Los Angeles and New York, but what of San Francisco? SF burgers, it's your time to shine. We've got the greasy spoons to the pretentious joints, and I even traveled by car to bring this list to the masses. If I missed your favorite, plead your case in the comments or tips. All your SF burger porn is after the jump.

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During yesterday's Super Tuesday festivities, many San Franciscans probably noticed a strange proposal alongside the candidates' names on their ballots. The proposition seeks to raze Alcatraz Prison and replace it with a "Global Peace Center." The project would largely consist of a series of glass domes and pyramids; the proposal is the brainchild of a man named "Da Vid" who runs the "Global Peace Foundation" and makes trippy new age electronic music. Da Vid says the idea came to him as part of a "flash of deep inspiration on Mt. Tamalpais in Marin County in 1978," and he absolutely swears it "was not a drug induced hallucination." And like all great 21st-century visionaries, Da Vid doesn't just have a dream, he has a kooky website to expound his philosophies.

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Lunchtime in San Francisco's Financial District is a fine art. Between conference calls and TPS reports, if you can spend your entire lunch hour relaxing or actually eating lunch, it's a luxury. So instead of the endless salad bars and fast food restaurants that plague any downtown area, treat yourself. These lunchtime distractions may be pricey, but if you can forget that your cubicle is waiting for you after 60 minutes, I daresay it's worth it.

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Always look out for the impossibly young woman with one polite piece of high-end carry-on (it was custom, it turned out) weaving through the international terminal of SFO. And though it sounds over the top, she actually did slide her iPhone as a bookmark into her Proust paperback. This is how I encountered Chloe Bancroft, a "postmodern adventuress," which, as she explained to me, means that "[her] primary value is in making even the dullest business travel amusing." Given Chloe's stated destination -- meeting a lover in Palo Alto -- and that we'd both been thrust together for a few more minutes, I pushed her for evidence of how exactly an affair in Silicon Valley could be at all sexy. Her car turned up before I got the benefit of a full response, but she did promise to indulge me by email later. Thus, here's a guide to conducting an affair in Palo Alto, adopted from Chloe's on-the-road recommendations.

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So, enough about meat markets -- let's explore actual meat. Unless the object of your affections is some species of vegetarian (or you are), a good way to impress is to prepare a delicious piece of bloody, well-cut flesh. Yes, meat. Here's a rundown of San Francisco establishments that specialize in meatly products that haven't been adulterated by chemicals, hormones, or bad karma.

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Your ex contacts you out of the blue. Y'know, that ex -- the one you had to let down easy, where everyone except them realized things weren't going to work out. Sure, the breakup was amicable and they're definitely friend-worthy ... but you just don't want them to get the wrong idea. Where should you go? Where should you hang out? Where are the completely platonic places to go and catch up? The places you pick will have to either (a) provide tons of eye candy so they can't help but look around, or (b) be so unromantic or busy that even talking about sex does not arouse. Here are some places to go to make your ex realize that You. Are. Not. Interested. However, if they suggest any of the places for our more goal-oriented ex-dating guide, you may want to avoid hanging out at all.

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