What video game wouldn't benefit from a flamethrower to the face when you make a misstep? At least this is the reasoning behind Interpretive Arson's Dance Dance Immolation. The game is relatively straight forward: play Dance Dance Revolution in a flame-proof suit and get a stiff right of flame to the face when you make a misstep. What could go wrong?
As you may or may not know, our Gridskipper's Trials of Soho: A User's Guide is a featured clip on YouTube which means it's been viewed thousands and thousands of times and people have left comments, mostly misspelled often hilariously anti-semitic ("You are an idiot with a hideous hook nose. What a surprise, you are from NY") and refreshingly positive. But by far, by far, the best part of the whole experience and, as far as I'm concerned, the crowning achievement of my career, is this guy's video response. We laughed so hard when we saw it I now feel clammy and sick.
Of all the things that don't make sense in the world, the success of Dane Cook, what the fuck is going on in Lost, by far the mystery that fills us with most confusion, a little bit of shame and tinge of an erection would be Shlomo's Penthouse in Toronto. Now, we know in Canada being a Jew is cooler than being a Jew in America but Shlomo really pushes the envelope of Mosaic law. How did a nice Jewish guy from Toronto start running an on-premise sex club? Oh yeah, how did a nice Jewish guy from Montreal start running a pornographic workers-rights clothing store? Is there something in the blood of Gentile babies in Canada that makes Jews dirtier? The other intriguing part of the story--apart from the fact that we're talking about a sex club in Toronto which is ab ovo intriguing--is one can bet Aurora's real name isn't Aurora and could possibly extrapolate Shlomo's real name isn't Shlomo which means he-what?-thought to himself, "You know what? I need a sexy name: Lance, Rod, naw, you know what? I'm going with Shlomo! Yeah, Shlomo, that's it." And finally, what the shit is going on in this photo?
Recently featured on Gadling, the Travelkleen is a "personal headrest protector" or, to the layman, an antimacassar. Now, this product deserves scorn for myriad reasons. Uh, helloooo? Airplanes already have antimacassars. Also, who the fuck uses these things other than Bill Murray from What about Bob? and fanny-packed balding dudes with a maroon polo shirt tucked into pleated khakis? But the real question is if we are so anti antimacassars, does that make us promacassar and if so, what does that even mean? Our lines are open.
Laurel Ptak, sometimes Gawker photographer, often Pic of the Day sourcer and always friend, points us to the work of Li Wei whose work has reflects the "reality in the unreal or fantastic." Needless to say, this philosophy, as Theme magazine notes, has caused the Chinese artist to run afoul of the authorities who, it might be said, would like to claim a monopoly over the reality in the unreal and fantastic.
Nothing like a crippled dog to embody such an abstract concept as Faith or a hilarious baggage hijinks to serve as a metaphor for America's crisis of...Faith. Faith (the dog) is a two-legged canine who walks on her hindlegs. America is American Airlines who recentl ylost the bitch on a flight to Orlando. Faith wandered around until meeting back up with her thankful owner who had lost Faith but now found Faith. Fuck, this is too easy. Watch the video.
Stretching the elastic definition of "boutique hotel" to the very edge of credibility, the Sultan Inn recently opened in Baku. Its rooms boast the obligatory plasma screens, authentic Azeri carpets and 24 hour wireless - the latter most likely existing only in the realm of fantasy. The good news is that it's Turkish operated, which means it might exceed local service and quality standards (a tallest-building-in-Topeka scenario). Overlooking the old city and the Caspian, its tastefully designed and stupidly named Floor 3 Terrace restaurant has arguably the best location in the city for an evening drink, and the Turkopean food isn't that bad either. Rates start at about $160 for a "standard small room."
One of the most touristed cities in the world one might think that all of Venice's hotels are full of fanny-packed tourists, paying through the nose for tiny rooms. But as the Telegraph wants you to, such is not the case. In a recent article, Telegraph exposes the few hotels that have heretofore been undiscovered. They include the tiny Ai Do Mori, "run by the vivacious Antonella Bernardi" along San Marco, the charmingly named Locanda de Ghetto and Ca' Pisani, one of the city's few design hotels. Well-written, well-researched, it makes one grateful that the Telegraph has such abysmal circ numbers. Also, in Venice news, those pigeons you always saw in San Marco? Turns out they're really pigeons deep undercover. That or global warming is a reality. Nah, we vote for an army of parrots with their sparrow tailors sewing pigeon outfits.
It seems every few months another story pops up about some wacky architectural excrescence arising out of the Persian Gulf. Predictably a recent story on Abu Dhabi in the NYT, includes this petit morceau:
The project also calls for a national museum and a biennial exhibition space composed of 19 pavilions designed by smaller names and snaking along a canal that cuts through the island. Art schools and an art college are also planned.
You'll notice the also since really besides the 19 pavilions, art schools and an art college, the cultural center will include three museums designed by Frank Gehry, Jean Nouvel and Tadao Ando, a humongous performing center by Zaha Hadid, hotels, resorts, golf courses and housing that could accommodate 125,000 residents. The complex will be built within the decade on a deserted island off the coast which means, as the Times, there's no consideration of context. Abu Dhabi being Abu Dhabi, neither is cost. This is one of those things to me, like global warming, whose implications are so large they're hard to wrap one's head around. Especially living in a 9x14 apartment in New York, hardly a stately pleasure-dome.
The Berlin Zoo recently welcomed Knut, a polar bear to its panoply of God's creatures. As reported in the Spiegel, little Knut, son of 20-year old Tosca, was born December 5, but spent the first 44 days of his life in an incubator. Now weighing 3.9 kgs, Knut is shown here with his zookeeper, a Daniel Day-Lewis look-a-like, Thomas Dörflein who has slept at the zoo since the little dude was born to provide round-the-clock care. Visitors will have to wait a bit to see Knut since the trauma of public display could be too much for the little bear. We're guessing the big bear is ready for some public exposure as soon as you ask him.
If you've been jonesing to get your cheap souvenir fix on in Tijuana but have been hesitant to visit the border town for fear (founded) in its violent streets, fear not. The AP reports Tijuana cops, who have been without guns since Jan. 5, have now been armed with slingshots and ballbearings. Having been accused of colluding with drug traffickers, police headquarters were raided by federal troops and their weapons confiscated. Which means, amazingly, Tijuana was safer when the police were without even slingshots.
We were going to make a ton of jokes and pretend we read this but in fact we haven't. We just saw it on Gadling then went to the Travelgirl website, scrolled down and became appropriately bemused and aghast. The main appeal of the magazine seems to be to be able to pinpoint the travel preferences of such luminaries as Liza Minelli, Paula Zahn and Joan and Melissa Rivers and never ever ever go near them. Sadly that cuts NY and LA off the grid but you gotta do what you gotta do. We'll understand.
Gridskipper contrib Sean Moriva reports from the anarchist Northwest when he's not getting concussed. He recently sent us this report of an event called Zoobomb.
Zoobomb is a weekly bike event that typifies the anarchocycling culture in PDX. It began in 1998, supposedly, various sources had come up with a multitude of back stories. Out of the time of myths and legends, Zoobomb was born, created to test the faithful. Not for the feint of heart. I was first blood. I am not sure if I was just drunk or if I had a concussion. Possibly both.
Meet in the parking lot across the street from Rocco's Pizza about a block or so from Powell's at 8:30 Sunday nights. There is a stack of tiny bikes chained to a bicycle rack. 8:30, zoobomb time is a kind of estimate, really. I would test out the loaner bike that you have taken before you hump it all the way up the hill and ride it all the way down. Particularly, you may want to test the breaks. Don't worry too much, pilebikes (n.) have all been given their due and loving care. Expect to take Portland's trusty TriMet MAX train to the Oregon Zoo stop and slug your tiny bike up the big ass hill only to bomb (v.) it down the hill later. Zoobomb. Bring your own beer and remember to clean up after you leave. Praise the flying spaghetti monster for Helmets.
And there you go. If you're anything like us you're scratching your head going, "Wha?" and thanking god you've got health insurance and no drinking problem.
Among the more hilarious and sobering aspects of this story of a grandmother who sent her baby grandson through the X-ray machine at LAX (other than that a grandmother sent her baby grandson through the X-ray machine at LAX) is that this isn't the first time babies have been X-rayed at airport security checkpoints, It happened in Winnipeg and at LAX in '98. And these are only the x-ray babies that have been detected. Who knows if there aren't more horribly mutated x-ray babies who have grown up to have super powers after x-ray exposure at a tender age. More importantly what if I just spoiled the end of Heroes? Not to fear, or perhaps to fear even more, the article reports that no one should worry since an adult routinely undergoes 5 times the amount of radiation on a cross-country flight.
For those of you who didn't buy into the whole Kurt Russell catastrophic future of LA (see: waves, Russell surfing on)the History Channel brings some visions of the future that minister to the hopeful. According to the LATThe History Channel asked seven professional architectural teams from L.A. -- plus one student team of utopians from Harvard -- to create a design for the Los Angeles of 2106, with the one judged best copping a $10,000 prize and the chance to pocket another 10 grand going head-to-head over the Internet next month with the winners of identical "City of the Future" competitions in New York and Chicago. Of course the utopians are students, from Harvard. The above video (which we came across on Curbed) is the submission of Xefirotarch and Imaginary Forces. Needless to say, despite the idea of a mind-reading cloud that would provide instant porn, they didn't win. That honor went to Eric Owen Moss whose rather tame vision includes utilizing underused urban spaces and turning the LA River into a...tourist attraction! Boring. I want the porn mist.
Apologies to David Cross.) This FedEx/Kinko ad campaign has been popping up through out New York, near pedestrian crossings. The campaign by BBDO supposedly also includes giant office lamps, but we haven't spotted any of those. Also we'd be interested in seeing huge Telex fluid containers at the base of the Upper West and Upper East Sides but we're not sure Fedex/Kinko's goes racial.
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What video game wouldn't benefit from a flamethrower to the face when you make a misstep? At least this is the reasoning behind Interpretive Arson's Dance Dance Immolation. The game is relatively straight forward: play Dance Dance Revolution in a flame-proof suit and get a stiff right of flame to the face when you make a misstep. What could go wrong? 
Comments
Of all the things that don't make sense in the world, the success of 
Recently featured on 
Laugh all you want but if you random through the streets of Shanghai, you may end up like Vince Vaughn in 
Nothing like a crippled dog to embody such an abstract concept as Faith or a hilarious baggage hijinks to serve as a metaphor for America's crisis of...Faith. Faith (the dog) is a two-legged canine who walks on her hindlegs. America is American Airlines who recentl ylost the bitch on a flight to Orlando. Faith wandered around until meeting back up with her thankful owner who had lost Faith but now found Faith. Fuck, this is too easy. Watch the video.
Stretching the elastic definition of "boutique hotel" to the very edge of credibility, the 
One of the most touristed cities in the world one might think that all of Venice's hotels are full of fanny-packed tourists, paying through the nose for tiny rooms. But as the Telegraph wants you to, such is not the case. In a recent article, Telegraph exposes the few hotels that have heretofore been undiscovered. They include the tiny 
It seems every few months another story pops up about some wacky architectural excrescence arising out of the Persian Gulf. Predictably a recent story on Abu Dhabi in the 
The 
If you've been jonesing to get your cheap souvenir fix on in Tijuana but have been hesitant to visit the border town for fear (founded) in its violent streets, fear not. The AP reports Tijuana cops, who have been without guns since Jan. 5, have now been armed with slingshots and ballbearings. Having been accused of colluding with drug traffickers, police headquarters were raided by federal troops and their weapons confiscated. Which means, amazingly, Tijuana was safer when the police were without even slingshots. 
We were going to make a ton of jokes and pretend we read this but in fact we haven't. We just saw it on 
Gridskipper contrib 
Among the more hilarious and sobering aspects of this 
Apologies to 
