Civilized Art in LA

Smaller and less well-known than UCLA's Hammer Museum (albeit surrounded by a far more successful football program), the USC Fisher Gallery still contains over 2,000 … works from Europe and the Americas. Ironically, some of the most sublime pieces are the Dutch, Flemish, German, and Italian pieces that Arnold Hammer himself donated to the University in the 1950s. That collection is supplemented by additional 16th and 17th century European works from the museum's namesake, Elizabeth Holmes Fisher. The broader Fisher collection also includes a stunning collection of British portraits from the days of the Empire, a period when it actually looked like decency and civilization might take hold in the world. Alas, no. [link]

Huntington's art collection is regularly cited as one of the most comprehensive collections of 18th and 19th century British and French art in the U.S. Housed in small … buildings dotted across 150 acres, the collection also contains some of the world's rarest manuscripts, including a Gutenberg Bible and a 600 year old copy of The Canterbury Tales. For those of you of a contemporary inclination, think of The Canterbury Tales as an early Chicken Soup For the Soul, only less popular. The first Thursday of every month is "free day." Guess how much admission is on those days. [link]

The Armand Hammer Museum contains a treasure trove of French works, including one of the world's most spectacular collections of Impressionist paintings. The permanent … collection includes Gustave Moreau's must-see-before-you-die Salome Dancing Before Herod, and the overall collection is rich enough to interest even wonkish academic experts. Much of the rest of the museum's space has been handed over to contemporary works, specifically to "works on paper." We kind of like the idea of putting contemporary art on paper. More biodegradable. [link]

With over 250,000 works of art, you have to studiously avoid the modern art (crap), costumes (crap), contemporary art (contradiction in terms), and occasional Steve Aoki … DJ event (douchebag). But provided that you're careful, you can feast with a clean palate on the LACMA's ancient and modern treasures, collected from every inhabited continent on the planet. The Egyptian art collection has over 2,000 works and spans 4,000 years. That's roughly 3,999 years, 364 days, 23 hours, and 45 minutes more than anyone will know care about anything in the contemporary art section. [link]

Finally open after what seemed like decades of renovation, the gorgeous Getty Villa houses sculptures from ancient Greece and Rome. Nota bene: if you find yourself … underwhelmed by the perfection of the human form cast in stone and bronze, we'd appreciate it if you please keep that to yourself lest someone associate you with us. Not only do they not make them like this anymore; except for very briefest and highest points in human history, they never made them like this. [link]

Quite simply one of the best museums on the planet. The Getty is an architectural wonder and an artistic treasure trove. Nestled in the Brentwood mountains, various … balconies provide vistas that stretch across LA and beyond. The collections inside highlight some of the greatest Western paintings and sculptures. In the center of everything is a 134,000-square-foot garden of breathtaking elegance, surrounded by specialty gardens. Admission is free, minus the city-mandated $8 parking fee. The Getty more or less avoids 20th and 21st century artwork. You know why? Because everything made after 1890 sucks. [link]

The Norton Simon's collection of European masterpieces spans thousands of years, including a particularly impressive 19th century collection. There are Van Goghs and … Courbets, but it's the museum's large representation of Degas paintings that often end up being most impressive. Very little pretentious postmodern nonsense, with the exception of some unfortunate sculptures. It's like public erotica for the Objectivist Club. Free for students and kids under 18. Regular admission $8. [link]