Gridskipper

Like I said, a partly chewed Cheerio on my pants. Plus loads of crumbs, diapers, and couches crusted with all forms of infantile goo. It's really just the ninth circle of motherly hell. And just try to get any reading… done with an out-of-sync choir of moms belting "The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round." [link]

The stroller infiltration at B&N's Park Slope branch got so bad, management was forced to create a designated stroller parking area. While the aisles may be stroller-free, they're now loaded with lots of pissed… off moms. Stay away. [link]

Post-partum yoga for mother and baby! Nuf said. [link]

The last stroller-free haven has finally been infiltrated. Now we must put up with double wide strollers at bars! On three consecutive visits to Union Hall there's been at least one stroller in the place, on one… occasion as late as 10 p.m. I suppose such early booze exposure will encourage the Slope's next generation to be the tortured, depressive writers their parents always wanted to be. [link]

Though not nearly as infested as Tea Lounge, stroller attacks at Ozzie's sprawling 5th Ave location are subtle and more calculated. Sit down with your coffee and laptop, and everything will seem fine. Then you'll… notice a funny smell or two, then a gurgle, and then an all-out cry. Before you know it, you're surrounded. [link]

Mediocre baked goods aren't enough to detour the stroller moms from crowding this tiny space. Walk over to 5th and hit up Gorilla Coffee instead where there's better food and drink (or is… there?!?), more room, and the blaring house stereo seems to intentionally limit stroller traffic. [link]

Children need hair cuts. But does the world really need something as precious as a boutique hair salon for kids that's also a toy store? Let the children live image-free while they still can — hip haircuts… and Chuck Taylors will come along soon enough. [link]

Fascist food cooperative/labor camp where Slope parents come to glut their young ones on reasonably priced organic veggies. You'd think stroller annoyance wouldn't fly with the coop's Ministry of ... I mean "Hearing… and Deciding" committee, but my surveillance reveals otherwise. [link]

Despite being a decent spot for dinner and drinks, during the day this modern 5th Ave café turns into balls-out Romper Room. Perch's bathroom is equipped with the requisite changing table; they even host frequent… children's activities, like sing-a-longs and story time. Flee. [link]