Paris for Bike Fanatics

Or Masse critique, as they're calling it here. Don't miss the event of the fall by "coincidentally" joining all the crazy and hobby cyclists of Paris (and probably a … good number of Vélibbers, too) on Saturday, September 22 at 6:30 p.m. at the Place d'Étoile. The non-plan is to ride circles around the Arc de Triomphe and edge out all the cars until there's nothing but bikes, bikes, bikes. Weee! Let's see what the French cops will do in response to this massive interruption of traffic. [link]

Every city has a snobby bike shop that all the cool kids hate and all the rich middle-aged hobby road bikers frequent. This store is just that. Opened in 1930 and now … managed by the third generation of enthusiastic cyclists, this is a place where chain oil is permanently stuck under fingernails. If you've got money to drop, this is a good place to do it. The staff is extremely knowledgeable and will get you fixed up in no time at all with not a Euro cent to spare. If you're broke, just make sure to use their bike pump. [link]

All the hip guides in Paris were creaming their pants with joy when this concept store opened a couple years back. Located just off the Bassin de la Villette, Vélo et … Chocolat is staffed by an alternately grumpy/nice former consultant with a passion for California-style beach cruisers. Bike repair and sales are served with the best old-fashioned hot chocolate outside of Angelina's and a delectable selection of baked goods. You take your refreshments surrounded by bike frames, tires, pumps, and parts. [link]

Given the shockingly high rate of bike thefts in this seemingly charming city, Roue Libre has provided a service whereby you may register your bike and have it marked, in … order to improve chances of getting it back (40% of registered bikes are recovered) if it happens to get stolen (which it inevitably will if you lock it up on the street). Of course, because this is France, you have to make an appointment. But it's well worth it if you care about your bike. [link]

These cyclists must be crazy! A free bike workshop? Where you can just bring your bike with whatever problem it may have and they'll help you fix it? And provide the … tools? What is this, communism? Starting September 23, from 2 to 6 p.m., the Atelier vélorutionnaire opens its doors to sick and broken bikes and their owners. [link]

A hipper, smaller spin-off of political bike organization Vélorution, Eclipcycle has biweekly "nocturnal and slightly crazy" rides on Thursday nights starting from near … the Gare de Lyon. Meet some of the fixed gear enthusiasts who will immediately offer you beers and cigarettes (but ... I thought we were here to ride bikes ... ). [link]

The largest political bike organization in Paris organizes rides on the first Saturday of every month at 2 p.m. at Châtelet. On Friday nights, the streets are … unfortunately dominated by thousands of rollerbladers who still think that's cool. Vélorution has brought a nude ride to Paris, and hey, how much do you love that clever name? [link]

Paris' first bike messenger company, created in 2001, has had something of a tough time convincing businesses that they're faster and more efficient than car delivery … services. The office is a hangout for the small team of bike messengers and often the starting point for evening rides and soirées, which you are welcome to join as long as you're not a douchebag. [link]

The one-stop shop for Paris mountain bikers (or VTT as they say in French) boasts a store in Paris and one in Versailles. A knowledgeable and friendly team is happy to … cater to your needs. Prices are typically high, but the selection is broad. [link]