Ultimate iPhone Campout Guide: Santa Clara Valley Fair

Another place known for having clean bathrooms, Khan's might be easier to infiltrate. Order some of the delicious pho and run to the bathroom while you wait; just be sure … to make a return trip to the restroom on your way out. Otherwise, you may have to buy an entree on your next bathroom break. [link]

Beggars can't be choosers when it comes to nature's urgent call. With so many bookstores featuring in-store coffee shops, there's always a toilet not too far away. … Taking a magazine or two to browse while indisposed is unhygienic, but be sly and no one need know. [link]

Word on the street is that the Babystyle store has an actual, clean bathroom. At. The. Mall. The only catch is that it's got a changing stall (presumably to go with their … parent clientele). The key to sneaking into this bathroom after one too many coffees is to swaddle your precious iBook in a small blanket and sail past the salespeop [link]

Not the cheapest place to stay in the area (high prices being a common trait among shops and restaurants on Santana Row), but certainly the closest hotel to the … Apple store. Hotel Valencia is a modern luxury hotel that also offers an upscale bar scene at Vbar, which is the perfect place to show off your new iPhone purchase. [link]

A dive bar that actually has nice bartenders, Alex's is known as a great spot to relax -- with double shots of liquor. If that isn't reason enough to go, use the liquor … as a liquid courage to get up on stage and rock with the best. Karaoke takes place four nights a week, so the odds of living out your rockstar fantasies are good ... after a few of those double shots. [link]

In case you're stuck outside of the Apple Store and need to check your e-mail, located down the street from Valley Fair is Bellano Café. This places offers great … pastries and coffee along with free wifi. Just don't forget to bring back a mocha or chai tea for your friends back in line. [link]

If you're looking for good Mexican food that's cheap and to go, look no further than Coyoacan Café. Any of the dishes are good, and with a variety of meats (or … veggies, for you vegetarians) you can be sure to get each dish exactly how you like it. Now if only those other people in line would just quit bugging you about where you got that burrito. [link]

For a food not usually known for being served at a drive in, the falafel is king at Falafel Drive-In, a local favorite. Falafels aren't the only thing on the menu, … however; feel free to pick up gyros, baba-ghannouj, and hummos. If you're not in the mood for those, Falafel's Drive-In also features hamburgers, burritos, and chicken sandwiches -- all part of the original menu before falafels ever came onto the scene. [link]

While it's more expensive than the Panda Express you'll find at the food court, Straits Restaurant is a worthwhile place for Asian food. Despite its odd beginnings … (chef/owner Chris Yeo was originally a hairdresser in San Francisco), Straits offers new twists on Singapore dishes. Try the lemongrass beef or the garlic noodles; while it may not be classic Singaporean, the twist is worth the visit. [link]

It's another mall-bound Apple Store, offering the usual delights and the usual crowd of devotees hogging the widescreen monitors to check email. The Nordstrom is nearby … if you need a change of clothes. Otherwise beware plunging too deeply into the enormous mall-maw. [link]