Mile-High Eldersex Cockblocked

Tony Ellwood is a rock star. He's a 76 year old Australian man whose wife Julie is 20 years younger, and he'd like nothing more than to have sex with her while sipping champagne at 30,000 feet. Sadly, he chose to live out his fantasy in Singapore Airlines' first double suite. You can't even chew gum in Singapore. As usual, evil journalists also screwed up everything. After the jump, hear Tony and Julia's tale of woe after buying a ticket hoping to become the first passengers to truly test the full potential of the Airbus A380.

"So they'll sell you a double bed, and give you privacy and endless champagne -- and then say you can't do what comes naturally?" asks Tony. "Seems a bit strange."

"They seem to have done everything they can to make it romantic, short of bringing round oysters," said Julie, 51. "I'd say they shouldn't really complain, should they?

Even though the Singaporean government has a reputation for doling out extreme corporal punishment, Tony seemed ready to defy the rules of their national airline. Sadly, the constant interview requests from reporters made it impossible to for him to get busy. He let them know this: "Though I don't think they'll have anything to worry about from us -- the flight is so busy with people coming to see the suites, we wouldn't have the opportunity."

Perhaps Tony will have learned a lesson here about flying too close to the sun. I think not though, look at that gleam in his eye. He's probably having sex right now. In a blimp. In the Arctic Circle.